Film Review: New Moon

Director: Chris Weitz
Screenwriter: Melissa Rosenberg [screenplay], Stephanie Meyer [novel].
Main Cast: Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart, Taylor Lautner
Runtime: 130 minutes
Certificate: 12A (UK)
Brief Summary: After Bella recovers from the vampire attack that almost claimed her life, she looks to celebrate her birthday with Edward and his family. However, a minor accident during the festivities results in Bella's blood being shed, a sight that proves too intense for the Cullens, who decide to leave the town of Forks, Washington for Bella and Edward's sake. Initially heartbroken, Bella finds a form of comfort in reckless living, as well as an even-closer friendship with Jacob Black. Danger in different forms awaits.
Tagline: The Next Chapter Begins
(source:IMDB).


As New Moon has just recently been released on DVD, this review is ever-so-slightly overdue. However, due to my strong opinions on the 'Twilight' franchise, this was something I couldn't wait to sink my teeth into. (Sorry).

I've never been shy about my adverse feelings to Twilight. Call me a traditionalist but the whole concept of a 'vegetarian vampire' just doesn't make sense. By definition, vampires feed off the blood of others. Oh, but he feeds off the blood of animals? Well, then he's not a vegetarian. I may have held a more supportive attitude towards the film if that confusion had been avoided. Although that's unlikely. Nevertheless, I gave New Moon a chance, albeit with a strong degree of trepidation.

The second installment of the Twilight Saga is, unsurprisingly, drenched in teenage angst, reeking of hormones and lovesick adolescence. I know it's a film about vampires and werewolves but is it impossible for anyone to crack a smile? In fact, maybe they should rename the lead male Edward Sullen. (I know, I'm probably not the first to crack that joke). But in all seriousness, the acting was so wooden I was afraid of getting splinters in my eyes. Luckily for cast and crew, young female fans have a penchant for the two lead males (see Team Edward and Team Jacob). New Moon's producers take full advantage of this and include topless shots of both at every opportunity, in an attempt to distract from the lack of charisma and sleepy plot.

On a positive note, the production is MUCH better than in Twilight although I was surprised at how unrealistic the CGI wolves seemed, despite New Moon's blockbuster status. A pleasant surprise however was the addition of Michael Sheen as Aro, part of the Volturi (the most powerful of vampires). Unfortunately, you have to sit through most of the film before reaching this point, but Sheen's brilliant acting as the panto-style villain puts the rest of the main cast to shame.

The film could have been half the length that it was, had all the long, 'soul-searching' pauses been eliminated. You HAVE to have seen the first film, otherwise all of the constant references to previous events will just leave you confused. I left the cinema feeling only...tired. Forget Team Edward or Team Jacob. I'd rather Team Watch Paint Dry.

My rating: 2/5